Straight Cash Homie

"I don't shine shoes. I don't tape ankles. I play football and that's what I came here to do."

"Straight Cash Homie"

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This is also really Ill.

Dumpling Time.

I fear that Dumplings has been cast aside and forgotten about more rapidly than the Sox 2007 World Series win. Here's a little reminder to keep both the Dumplings and the Sox victory feel alive.

Definition of Jiggy Shit

Just in case you haven't seen someone do backwards donuts in a Lamborghini with the doors up lately.

Here's the Ad for our Pilot

It occurs to me that many of you may not have known that Deepali and I have been in serious talks with NBC to create our own sitcom, based on the hilarious premise that a 6'3" Caucasian could be best buds with a 5'0" (and a qwahter) Indian. Long story short, it doesn't look like our project will see the light of day, but conversations did get far enough for us to shoot a pilot episode and for NBC to create a teaser for the show. NBC owns the pilot, but I was able to get my hands on the rough cut of the teaser (before they put in the NBC logo and Title graphics). Enjoy.

Did you know gay guys can climb mountains?!

Me neither.

In case you forgot how amazing Catherine Zeta-Jones is . . .

Here's a slow-mo of her ass from that scene in "Entrapment". I'm pretty sure nobody actually saw that movie, but I have a feeling everyone will remember this amazing clip from the preview. (P.S. the first 10 seconds is the only part worth watching) Enjoy.

Gloves and Helmets Everywhere to the sounds of Metallica

This nugget is dedicated to Micah.

That's the last straw......

Office Space trailer recut into a thriller. They shouldn't have fucked with Milton so much.....

This is just wrong...

That's right, Honky Tonk Badonkadonk.

The Future of Freestyle

Yo, this dude rips the mic! Check it . . .

Two excellent links

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFZevw1AHZs : This guy puts all of our beerpong skills to shame.

http://funnyordie.com/v1/landing.php : I guess the only way for someone to be more hilarious in a scene then Will Ferrell is if there is a hilarious, swearing, drunked, baby girl involved.

Ridiculous Hops

This is some French dude named Kadour Ziani who is 5' 10" and has a 56" vertical leap.....which is about 50" more than my vertical leap. Dude is ridiculous.

Houston, we have a problem.

Volume is a must on this one.

NO HOMO

Backflipper Extraordinaire

Don't worry, I was ok.

(notice the "bald-head and huge beard" style).

Sad Kermit

I got this link from the a Sports Guy article, but the video is pretty hilarious. It seems that Kermit has been going through some tough times as of late. I guess that is what happens when the man who has had his hand up your ass for years dies, leaving you to reflect on the fact that your best friend is a retarded bear and you've been trying to fuck a pig for years.

Sad Kermit - Hurt

Old Videos

I was looking through my computers and found some videos from when I was in South Africa.

This was pretty awesome to see.



PENGUINS!!!!!!!!!!!! (note: nothing exciting happens in this video, but penguins are awesome)

Ian is a back-stabbing homo

edit: I have since calmed down and no longer think Ian is a back-stabbing homo, but just a regular, run-of-the-mill homo. In fact, he is my only homo friend, and as long as he stops trying to peek at me in the shower, I completely forgive him for his transgressions.

March Madness hip-hop bracket

Unfortunately, Team Facelift just missed the cut.

I Wish My Students Were This Smart.

Thanks to Rob for sending these around, it brightened up my day.

In Soviet Russia, Penis Grows on Arm

Oh the the things they can do with modern medicine.

http://www.mosnews.com/news/2005/03/22/miraclesurgery.shtml

Team Facelift

I would like to introduce the audience to Team Facelift.
Notice the Fat Jew. He hails from the same summer camp as BK.

Wax Meets Lasers

That's right folks, just dust off Dad's old vinyl collection and drop $17,000. You'll be listening to that old wax in style. For more on this and other geeky shit click here: http://blog.wired.com/wiredphotos47/2007/03/elp_1xrc_laser_.html

Big Rils Redux

Another productive Friday at PCi Corporation for Ian.

TICKETS! (said in buckets! voice)

This past Saturday was our beloved Big Ril's bday, and we celebrated in style at Good Times! Kiril ended up winning ***250*** tickets from a single trivia game (big surprise!), and I was there just in time to catch his immediate reaction. A regular kid in a candy store!

Deep Fried Double Cheeseburger Anyone?

Just in case you feel like experiencing a triple bypass, I've included a link to some instructions on how to make one of these heart-wrenching beauties. Enjoy . . . http://www.danamania.com/burger/

Jesse's Manifesto

I know Tim sent this to everyone in an email, but I figured it should be posted for continued enjoyment.

Jamaica Queens meets the Boogie Down....holler!

Tufts Pride

For Ian, because everytime I see Jessica Biel, I can't help but think of him. And, of course, for everyone else who loves side boobs. But as I'm sure you all noticed too, her hair looked bad.

Usual Suspeckts Video

What up my compadres. For my first dumpling on our soon-to-be legendary board of wisdom and humor I'm just leaving you guys a little video that the Usual Suspeckts put out. It is actually really well done and pretty dope, and if nothing else you guys can show it to friends who don't know U.S. and regale them with tales of partying with hip-hop susperstars at the legendary Long Crisp White Tee's radio show. To quote the wise and sage Bobby O, they're our "brothers from another mother...and father. We go back like jheri curl. ONE HUNNA!!!". With further ado, here is "Blood In My Eyes" from the Usual Suspeckts.



Further Ado: The story of our ridiculous exploits in Northampton did not end where I thought they had. Yesterday I noticed a charge on my bank statement from Clarion Hotels, and upon investigation I learned that we had been so obnoxiously loud, and garnered so many complaints, that room 134B (our neighbors) was comped their room for the night, and their tab for $118.57 was ceremoniously dumped upon us. I still say it was worth it.

Peanut

A Peanut.

Neither a Pea

Nor A Nut.

Discuss...

Weekend in Northampton (no homo)

Micah, Ian, Jenna, Caroline, and I trooped it to Northampton for the Mr. Lif show this past weekend. Here's a video of Lif doing an acapella of "The Fries" at the show. The second video is of one of the hardest gaffles I've ever given.

First Dumpling

Yo,
So I just wrote this e-mail in the banter that Nikias, Omar, Koger, and Tommy have each day, and figured it would make for a solid first quick story (or dumpling if you will).

"Saturday night involved seeing one of my top 5 concerts ever (The Cat Empire) while meeting a bunch of australian people and dancing a lot while being very intoxicated. After the show while leigh was getting our coats, and I was closing my tab, I spotted a table with a half bottle of wine and a full platter of chips, guac, and salsa. Without hesitation, I sat down like it was my table, poured myself a glass of wine and basically housed a whole bowl of chips. Leigh and I then saw the lead singer (Felix) on the stage dismantling some drums and walked down to talk to him. After a minute of the standard "that was a great show" talk, I asked him if he remembered a show they played in Darling Harbour in Sydney in '04 while they were on a raft about 100 feet out in the water. The dude's eyes instantly lit up and was like "you were one of the crazy blokes who jumped into the water!" Needless to say, it was me and my group of 10 friends on our last day in australia who jumped into the harbour during the encore of their show ignoring the signs saying "WARNING: Sharks and Electricity in the Water: DO NOT SWIM," and swam around for the encores while literally thousands of people cheered for us but not surprisingly did not choose to join us. Eventually the coast guard took us back to shore and let us go saying we were all lucky to be alive. I was pretty impressed the dude remembed that shit 3 years later. Anyway, both nights were pretty fucking sweet."

Welcome

This blog has been created for the express purpose of sharing and disseminating dumplings of knowledge and wisdom via the world-wide web. Please post your pictures, movies, jokes, annecdotes, and tales of shenanigans and tomfoolery for all to see.